"Percy's Presidential Mold" by The Watergate Cookbook (1973)
When I opened my newest vintage cookbook courtesy of my dear friend Andy Waplinger, I thought it was cute, clever and full of puns — The Watergate Cookbook contains gems like “Nixxon’s Hot Crossed Wire Buns with Tapping” and “Cox’s In-Peach Chicken.” But looking at the publishing date, it appears this cookbook was trying to make a difference right in the middle of the scandal. January 1, 1973 is when The Watergate Cookbook was published, just days before the trial for the Watergate burglars began and mere weeks before the U.S. Senate launched its own official investigation. Yes, enterprising Americans saw a megalomaniac president breaking laws and norms with nothing but self-interested paranoia driving his behavior and they thought, “We’ll nail the bastard with this cookbook.” The sheer optimism. The unabashed naïveté in the face of a powerful man who once considered having a political enemy killed with LSD-laced steering wheel. It’s a perfect example of why I’m obsessed with these old recipes, including the one I’ve recreated here: Percy’s Presidential Mold from The Watergate Cookbook (1973):
As always, I followed the recipe word for word from the source, no alterations:
INGREDIENTS
3 cups cream style cottage cheese
1 quart cool whip
6oz. package orange jello
13.5oz. can pineapple tidbits
11oz. can mandarin orange segments
INSTRUCTIONS
1) Defrost cool whip and beat with cottage cheese until well blended.
Who is Percy? Charles Percy, I discovered. He was a top Republican who was at odds with Nixon over Watergate. So I guess what the Cookbook is saying is that Charles Percy was presidential? In the mold of a president? Also hoping that “cream style” cottage cheese is similar to the smooth, full-fat kind that I found.
2) Stir in dry jello.
3) Add drained fruits and press into a seven or eight cup mold. Chill several hours overnight.
Careful readers will observe via the final shape that the mold I use is the same for all my jello creations, including Wine Jelly and Diabetic Cucumber Salad. It’s just so classic, so pretty, and a clear harbinger of culinary tragedy.
4) Unmold and serve. Especially good with fish.
Why did they have to add the line about it being good with fish? I did not have fish on hand or else I would’ve served it with a big slab of ahi tuna steak, but of course, it wasn’t in the ingredients list. I feel like I can say, with full certainty, it would not be especially good with fish.
Voila! If you want to actually watch me slurp it, go to the CwC Instagram or TikTok. I actually took two sets of photos of this dish — one immediately upon its unmolding, and then another after I tasted it and was curious whether it would look prettier when I mixed up the fruits with the whip & curds. I’d say it looked prettier, but the extra whipping deflated the final product, making it the flaccid orange goo you see beside you. The smell is like that of a melted Vitamin C tablet mixed with tropical yogurt — familiar yet malevolent. I was enticed.
Verdict:
Texture played a big role here, making me wonder if “cream style” cottage cheese doesn’t exist, because crushing a cheese curd with my teeth while Emergen-C dances on my tongue was too much. I found myself really wanting to like this — so close to a classic ambrosia salad, but ultimately, the fake orange + salty old milk combo was too much.
