"Milk Toast" by Representative Emmet O'Neal

This recipe (not this one in particular, but Milk Toast recipes in general) is where the term milquetoast comes from. Milquetoast (and maybe Milk Toast?) is defined as “feeble, insipid or bland.” Knowing I’ll be making something “insipid” is a fine start.

Chef Emmet O’Neal

Democratic Representative from Kentucky

As always, I followed the recipe word for word from the fitness-guru congressman, no alterations:

INGREDIENTS

6 slices of bread (preferably salt-rising)

3 cups whole milk

2 (or more) tbsp of butter

salt, red pepper

INSTRUCTIONS

1) Toast six slices of bread hard.

So hard.

2) Heat milk as hot as possible without boiling.

I waited until I saw a thin film on the top, but very few tiny bubbles.

3) Pour over toast while both are hot.

Glad we got that bread nice and hard, because this is where we dump so much milk on them and turn them into mush.

4) Add butter, salt and a dash of red pepper. Put in covered dish until served. Serves 2 or 3.

Voila! If you want to actually watch me attempt to eat it, go to the CwC Instagram or TikTok. The consistency here is pretty close to crackers in a bowl of water. “Sopping” is a descriptive word that comes to mind. The touch of butter and red pepper lend some color to an otherwise pretty milquetoast (I’m sorry, I’m so sorry) color palette. Serves 2 to 3? So 3 pieces of milk toast for you and your closest friend or loved one!

Verdict:

Take away all the good parts of French toast, then pour a pint of salty milk on top of it. There you have it. Milk Toast. About as good as Milk Steak.