Is this the most dangerous recipe I’ve ever attempted to recreate? Possibly, unless you count the bones and vertebrae in the canned salmon from this recipe or this one. That’s because I’m working with an ingredient that’s brand new to me — powdered ammonia. Now, it sounds scary, which is obviously why I chose it, but powdered ammonia was apparently a common ingredient for crispier cookies. Ammonia isn’t used much today…except in fire extinguishers.

Chef Hans McCourt

Democratic State Senator from West Virginia

As always, I followed the recipe word for word directly from the little-known state senator, no alterations:

INGREDIENTS

3 eggs

2 cups sugar

1 cup Crisco

1.25 cups milk

1 tsp salt

1oz powdered ammonia

2 tsp lemon oil

INSTRUCTIONS

1) Dissolve ammonia in 1/4 cup warm water until softened; add to milk.

Scariest part. *DO NOT BREATHE IN THE POWDERED AMMONIA. It will seriously burn your nostrils, lungs, and tongue. This is not a joke. So much of this project is a joke but this…this is not.

2) Cream shortening and sugar until well-blended.

Not butter!

3) Add beaten eggs; blend well. Add salt and lemon oil.

4) Add flour alternately with milk until mixture is of proper consistency (mixture should be soft). Add more flour if necessary. Dough will be too soft to handle.

Surprise! You need flour. I love it when a recipe does not list essential ingredients. Like most of you, I always have flour on hand, so it wasn’t an issue, but the unlisted nature means I am on my own trying to figure out how much flour is called for. I ended up using about 2.5 cups of all-purpose flour.

5) Spoon from mixing bowl to heavily floured board. Press out with hands to about 1/8-inch thickness, cut in squares or circles.

It looked like sloppy pizza dough when I spooned it out. I think that’s about right.

6) Stick cookies with fork before baking. Bake in hot oven, 400 degrees, until light brown.

No time included, so keep an eye on these cookies. It took about 13 minutes for mine to be light brown.

Voila! If you want to actually watch me attempt to eat it, go to the Cookin’ with Congress Instagram or TikTok. They don’t look dangerous, do they? They don’t look like much at all, in fact. Just pillowy, square-adjacent shapes without any discernible smell or texture. Bland. These crackers look entirely bland. Icing or sugaring is welcomed, but I wanted to try the undecorated version first to get the true flavor of fire extinguisher.

Verdict:

There is something so familiar with these crackers/cookies — childhood animal crackers? It took me back to being four years old. Almost no lemon flavor to speak of, which makes sense when you forgo lemon zest or lemon juice, I guess. Most importantly, it did not burn my throat or make me go blind — a true win.