Senator Jeremiah Denton's "Ice Water Cookies"

Ice water in a pie crust? Absolutely. I’ve made it before many times, it keeps the butter cold. Now, would I call that an “ice water pie?” Certainly not. But maybe Jeremiah Denton’s favored cookie really has delicious notes of ice water. That was my dream when the recipe title first caught my eye.

Chef Jeremiah Denton

Republican Senator from Alabama

Favorite Food/Homespun Recipe: Favorite Food

Notable:

blinking out “TORTURE” on live television as a P.O.W.; the 1981 Chastity Bill

Quotable:

“I was [about to] be killed by an atheistic government which was trying to force me to renounce my God-fearing government.”

As always, I followed the recipe word for word, no alterations:

INGREDIENTS

1.5 sticks butter

2 cups flour

4 tbsp confectioners’ sugar

1 tbsp ice water

1.5 tbsp vanilla

1 cup nuts, chopped in small pieces

INSTRUCTIONS

1) Cream butter and sugar first.

I’ve made shortbread before, the ratio feels off — not quite enough sugar, not quite enough butter. We’ll see.

2) Then sift in flour.

3) Add ice water, vanilla and nuts.

One MASSIVE, ENTIRE…tablespoon of ice water. What a letdown. I was hoping the dough would chill in ice water for an hour, or it would have 2 full cups of chilled, frosty H2O. But no.

4) Mix. Mold into finger shaped cookies.

I shaped them as best I could into fingers with this nut-filled dough. They were a bit…thick. More like thumbs.

5) Bake at 300 degrees until lightly browned.

Voila! If you want to actually watch me attempt to eat it, go to the Cookin’ with Congress Instagram or TikTok and now, YouTube Shorts. These phallic little cookies made the house smell like nutty shortbread, and they definitely crumble with similar ease. They’d be made more attractive with powdered sugar (like a Russian teacake), but alas, it’s not called for in the original recipe.

Verdict:

If shortbread is a bit too buttery, rich, and delicious for you, I present ice water cookies. They desperately need a chocolate dip or powdered sugar.