Nothing says summertime like jellied cranberry sauce. You may immediately free-associate “Thanksgiving” or “Christmas” but no, you’re thinking too small — cranberries belong all year-round, especially because they’re coming in canned form. Why not have a summer cranberry dessert? Why not toss in some Jello? Why must they keep calling these dishes molds?

Chef Dan Walker

Democratic Governor from Illinois

Notable:

has serious drip; serving time for bank fraud, perjury and giving a false financial statement

Quotable:

“I don’t want to sound pretentious, but I have a genius IQ…I didn’t learn that I had a genius IQ until I was in jail and the jail psychologist gave me that test or whatever you call it and said, ‘My God, you’re a genius.’”

As always, I followed the recipe word for word, no alterations:

INGREDIENTS

1 pkg unflavored gelatin

1/4 cup cold water

1 can jellied cranberry sauce

1/2 cup chopped walnuts

2 firm bananas, sliced

INSTRUCTIONS

1) Dissolve gelatin in cold water and heat in double boiler until gelatin is thick.

New way to prepare gelatin alert! This method gives off a slightly horsey smell since you’re actually cooking it. Offputting.

2) Use fork to stir cranberry sauce.

You cannot substitute a spoon. Even a fork, to be candid, ended up with some spilled sauce. It’s quite bouncy.

3) Add softened gelatin; stir in bananas and nuts. Pour into a 1-quart mold to set. Unmold to serve.

Voila! If you want to actually watch me attempt to eat it, go to the Cookin’ with Congress Instagram or TikTok and now, YouTube Shorts. The dish has a visceral look, sure, but it’s not the most violent looking thing i’ve ever made on here (that honor belongs to Coke Salad). Part of me wishes the bananas were sliced up a bit smaller, but maybe this mosaic effect works for some folks. What an adorable little hemo-pyramid.

Verdict:

No mayonnaise, no cottage cheese, no vegetables, no problem. I like it. I wouldn’t serve it to guests with pride, but I served it to my family with apathy.