Senator Frank Carlson's "Chicken Loaf"

You’ve eaten meatloaf. I mean, statistically, you probably have. I don’t have a statistic, but I used AI to estimate that 80% of Americans have tried meatloaf at least once in their lifetime, and that feels about right. I have certainly eaten it, and every time I have, it’s has been a beefloaf meatloaf. Maybe — MAYBE — there would be a beef-pork mix, but a meatloaf is basically cow-made. I bet you can picture it in your mind’s eye — the shape of a perfect loaf of bread, mealy and crumbly on the inside, glazed with a brown sugar-ketchup combo on top. Can you smell it as your grandma puts the loaf down on a paisley potholder, straight out of the oven? What a loaf, what a meat.

Today, we explore an old meat in a new way: chicken loaf.

Chef Frank Carlson

Republican Senator from Kansas

Favorite Food/Homespun Recipe: Favorite Food

Notable:

being the only Kansan to be governor, state rep, U.S. rep, and U.S. senator

Quotable:

“We need Barry Goldwater.”

As always, I followed the recipe word for word directly, no alterations.

INGREDIENTS

4 lbs of boiled chicken

2 cups fresh bread crumbs

1 cup cooked rice

1.5 tsp salt

1/8 cup chopped pimento

2.5 cups milk or chicken broth

3 eggs - well beaten

INSTRUCTIONS

1) Dice chicken, then add all ingredients except eggs

Yes, dice, not grind. While ground chicken would make sense and be a reasonable choice, we don’t live in the realm of reason here. Diced chicken. Sure. Go forth. Oh, and make sure you’ve already boiled that chicken — we’re cooking it to death.

2) Add eggs last.

3) Bake one hour at 325 degrees.

If not for the preparation of 64 ounces of pre-cooked chicken, this would be one of the easiest recipes of all time on here.

Voila! If you want to actually watch me attempt to eat it, go to the Cookin’ with Congress Instagram or TikTok and sometimes, YouTube Shorts. The color is about the same hue as that photograph of Frank Carlson above. I haven’t done a statistical analysis of dishes on this blog, but I’d guess beige is the most common color scheme. When the dish came out, the top had become so dried and crusty that was actually sharp. I guess that’s how you know your unglazed, ketchupless chicken loaf is complete.

Verdict:

Because of the milk, it wasn’t as dry as I expected. The taste was…missing. I feel like I made an ingredient — throw some onions, garlic, black pepper, and some sort of hot sauce, and we’re talkin’ — as is, it did not excite the senses.