Representative John Dellenback’s "Cheesecake Salad”
I’m not dumb enough to look at “salad” in a midcentury recipe book and assume I’ll be eating arugula and Italian dressing. Not anymore. Maybe five years ago, but Cookin’ with Congress has taught me to anticipate Jello, fruits, and potentially some dairy products that aren’t fit to be mixed with fruits and vegetables.
This recipe actually sounded delicious by name, even with my presumption that Jello would be involved — ever had a strawberry pretzel salad? They’re delicious. Don’t knock all Jello salads; just ones enjoyed by politicians.
I was, however, shocked and mildly scared to see no cream cheese in this recipe. A Jello cheesecake salad without cream cheese? What in the hell kind of cheese are we talkin’ here?
Rep. John Dellenback
Republican Representative from Oregon
Favorite Food/Homespun Recipe: Favorite
Notable:
nicknamed “St. John” by colleagues; that bowtie
As always, I followed the recipe word for word, no alterations:
INGREDIENTS
1 large package lemon Jello
6 bananas
1/2 cup sugar
1 can grated pineapple
1 cup grated cheddar cheese
3.75 cups water
2 cups miniature marshmallows
3 tbsp cornstarch
1 cup whipped cream
INSTRUCTIONS
1) Dissolve Jello in 2 cups boiling water. Stir in 1 3⁄4 cups cold water. Chill until thickened.
Classic Cookin’ with Congress.
2) Fold in peeled, cut bananas and marshmallows.
Six bananas may feel like a lot. It is. It is a lot of bananas.
3) Turn into 9" x 13" pan, chill until firm.
4) Meantime mix sugar and cornstarch, blend with undrained pineapple. Cook until thick.
Grated pineapple I took and take to mean crushed pineapple. It was sometimes called “grated” in the past on a few cans, though most of what I found was “crushed” as well. Take into account can sizes, too — 20-22oz is and was the norm, as far as I could tell.
5) Cool, fold in whipped cream and 1/2 cup cheese.
Cool. After catching some flack for not fresh-shredding my cheese for Tim Walz’s hotdish, I decided to always fresh-shred my cheese. And yes, I whipped my own cream, too, c’mon now.
6) Spread over Jello, sprinkle with remaining cheese. Chill several hours or overnight. Serves 12.
Voila! If you want to actually watch me attempt to eat it, go to the Cookin’ with Congress Instagram or TikTok OR…YouTube! Time to find 11 other people who are brave/crazy enough to try this salad! Man, I wish I could bring this to a potluck. It strangely looks like a hotdish, too, with the golden cheddar on top and what you could only assume is buttery mashed potatoes underneath. But no. No, that is sugared pineapple cheese whip. Now I REALLY want to bring it to a potluck and tell everyone it’s just a cold hotdish.
Verdict:
Hear me out…it’s good. Not spectacular, and you’ve got to enjoy bananas, but it’s good. Oddly, the cheddar cheese not only works but it is essential to its success, cutting the sweetness of the dish. The title though? LIE.