My fellow Americans:

Salute these real recipes from real congresspeople, recreated with love and fear by me.

Do not try these at home.

Cookin' with Congress on NBC Los Angeles!

Cookin' with Congress on NBC Los Angeles!

Super Tuesday didn’t bring a lot of national surprises — Joe Biden and Donald Trump are destined for a 2020 rematch. One delightful surprise amidst overwhelming darkness and apathy was that somehow, some way, a horrifying, green mayonnaise & jello dish graced tens of thousands of television screens across California.

Screenshot of sweet, sweet Anniversary Horseradish Salad on my TV at home. Looks like messed-up Christmas.

Yes, I was on TV for Cookin’ with Congress. I got to come into the KNBC studios in Los Angeles and film a segment with the wonderful Danielle Nottingham. She wisely chose not to eat that Grinchy wasabi bomb of a dish, but she gave Barack Obama’s pie a taste and was overall just lovely.

These terrifying recipes from equally terrifying politicians are making their way across the U.S. one television screen at a time. It warms my heart to see people love-hate them as much as I do.

As always: have a great week, and keep politicians out of our kitchens.

Senator Dianne Feinstein's "Easy Tamale Pie"

Senator Dianne Feinstein's "Easy Tamale Pie"

"Ham Mousse" by President Richard Nixon

"Ham Mousse" by President Richard Nixon