"Adam and Eve's Chili" by Representative Adam Schiff
This recipe has nothing to do with the Biblical characters of Adam and Eve; it’s all about the modern-day Adam and Eve: the Schiffs. I tried for at least 15 minutes to come up with some comparisons, but there simply aren’t any. This chili has no apples or anything cute like that, and it’s fortunately not filled with shame like the Bible origin story. Instead, it is filled with beer.
Chef Adam Schiff
Democratic Representative from California
As always, I followed the recipe word for word directly from the censured Democrat running for U.S. Senate as I type this, no alterations:
INGREDIENTS
3 lbs ground beef or turkey
2 tbsp olive oil
1 md onion, chopped
30oz tomato sauce
12oz tomato paste
15oz stewed tomatoes
1/2 tsp pepper
1/2 tsp oregano
1/2 tsp cumin
2 tsp garlic salt
2 tsp cayenne
1/2 tsp Tabasco pepper sauce
1 tsp soy sauce
2 tsp Worcestershire sauce
6oz beer
3 16oz cans pinto beans
INSTRUCTIONS
1) Brown ground beef/turkey in 2 tablespoons oil. Drain liquid.
2) Chop onion and add tomato sauce, tomato paste, stewed tomatoes, pepper, oregano, cumin, garlic salt, cayenne, Tabasco sauce, soy sauce and Worcestershire sauce.
The lone fault in this recipe is a small one — the recipe calls for chopped onion, and now…I must chop the onion. Going to assume I don’t need to double chop.
3) Simmer, covered, and cook for 30 minutes.
4) Add beer and pinto beans. Simmer 1 hour or longer. Makes 6-8 servings.
You can really smell the beer cooking for the entire hour.
Voila! If you want to actually watch me attempt to eat it, go to the CwC Instagram or TikTok. Okay, it looks like a standard chili. Not much to really dig into, visually. I’ll say that while it cooked, the beer was fragrant, and it remained so after the fact. I went with Coors Banquet, by the way. An IPA or a stout might be weird, I’d stick with a pilsner if I were you. Smells like beer, tomatoes and football up in here.
Verdict:
Okay! Finally, a great recipe. It’s been a while. Is it the best chili I’ve ever had? No. But it’s very good. Lightly spicy, but not overwhelmingly so, and the beer is a delicious addition. You can really taste the Banquet.
