"Healthy Breakfast" by President Woodrow Wilson
I’m going to cut to the chase here — raw eggs. This recipe contains raw eggs. Disclaimer right up front: Consuming raw or undercooked meats, poultry, seafood, shellfish, or eggs may increase your risk of foodborne illness, especially if you have certain medical conditions. Okay, now that the legalities are taken care of, we can proceed to learn about President Woodrow Wilson’s “Healthy Breakfast,” as he called it, why it is faintly purple and why I ate raw eggs despite that clearly worded warning.
Chef Woodrow Wilson
Democratic President from New Jersey
As always, I followed the recipe word for word from the virulent segregationist, with no alterations:
INGREDIENTS
2 eggs
Concord grape juice
INSTRUCTIONS
1) Fill up a tall glass half-way or three-quarters full with grape juice.
So far, nothing noxious. But you know what’s coming.
2) Crack two eggs into the glass, careful not to let any shell in. Stir with a long-neck spoon until well-mixed.
No ice, no whisking, no frothing — just stir with a spoon.
Voila! If you want to actually watch me attempt to eat it, go to the CwC Instagram or TikTok. Initially a Grimace shade of purple, the drink turned into a muddy lavender. Closer to a Grimace Shake. It took me a few iterations to get to “mixed well” enough — I was about to take a sip when I noticed egg white floating at the top. Eventually, it all seemed appropriately combined and the time had come to drink this creamy, dangerously raw concoction.
Verdict:
No thanks! I’m good!
UPDATE: Unrelated, but I ended up getting a horrific stomach virus one day later and now I cannot think of this “healthy breakfast” without getting nauseous. Unrelated?
