I have to come clean about a theory of presidential power that I have — 90% of all U.S. presidents are psychopaths. I truly believe that, and that theory gives me comfort that no matter who is President, there’s been someone just as insane sitting in that Oval Office. Sure, there’s a spectrum, but to become President, especially 20th century or later, you had to be a little nuts.

Jimmy Carter is one of the 10%. Even people who dislike Jimmy Carter don’t call him a bad guy, just a bad president. The question is: does this non-psychopathic president have non-psychopathic tastebuds? I mean, he did drink buttermilk straight up…

As always, I followed the recipe word for word directly from the only U.S. president I have ever met, no alterations:

INGREDIENTS

1 pound grated sharp cheese

1 cup finely chopped nuts

1 cup mayonnaise

1 small onion, finely grated

black pepper

dash cayenne

strawberry preserves (optional)

INSTRUCTIONS

1) Combine all ingredients except preserves, season to taste with pepper.

I went with a sharp cheddar, of course, and walnuts AND pecans, because i had both on hand from previous recipes. Folks really loved pecans in the 70s, you had to kill to find a pistachio it seems.

2) Mix well and place in a 5 or 6 cup lightly greased ring mold. Refrigerate until firm for several hours or overnight.

I chose overnight so I could wake up fresh and excited for this mayonnaise cheese circle.

3) To serve, fill center with strawberry preserves -- or serve plain with crackers.

An odd instruction, but I chose the strawberry preserves. Does this mean I…eat it with a fork? Being a writer and editor for nearly 12 years, I read it the way it was punctuated, meaning I had the option of preserves or crackers, but not both. Jam time.

Voila! If you want to actually watch me attempt to eat it, go to the Cookin’ with Congress Instagram or TikTok. Visually? Golden hues. Aromatically? Spicer than anticipated. Texturally? Cheese. Similar to Steve Largent’s Salmon Ball, it feels like it should be eaten with crackers, but either way, it’s forkable.

Verdict:

I had to get over the texture, and the mayonnaise content is too high for my liking but…it hits this special spot for me that harkens back to my childhood of eating an absurd amount of Garden Herb Triscuits. The raw onion, the black pepper — it does work. Improved with every bite. Is it psychopath food? Maybe, which only furthers a new theory that what I am embarking on here is cut from the same crazy cloth.