My fellow Americans:

Salute these real recipes from real congresspeople, recreated with love and fear by me.

Do not try these at home.

President Millard Fillmore's "Resurrection Pie"

President Millard Fillmore's "Resurrection Pie"

I’ve been calling this recipe “Resurrection Liver Pie” because I think it’s important to highlight the star ingredient. Liver and onions is a common dish, and I’ve eaten deer liver on many occasions thanks to growing up with a primitive bowhunter for a dad (thanks, Dad!). Delicious. But how does it fare in pie form and from a cow instead of a deer? We’ll leave that up to the least memorable president of all time.

Millard Fillmore

Chef Millard Fillmore

Whig President from New York

As always, I followed the recipe word for word directly from the final Whig in the White House, no alterations:

INGREDIENTS

1 pound round steak

1 pound beef or pork liver

3 slices lean bacon

2 onions

6 medium potatoes

1/2 tsp salt

1/4 tsp pepper

cold water or consommé

INSTRUCTIONS

1) Cut the meat into slices 1/2 inch thick. Slice onions and potatoes 1/4 inch thick.

Cutting liver requires a very sharp knife, at least for the frozen liver that I thawed. I had to pause to sharpen because it was dragging liver all over the cutting board like an upsetting medieval torture experiment.

2) Arrange in layers in a well-greased casserole, beginning with a layer of meat sprinkled with bacon cut into bits, then a layer of onions and potatoes mixed, then meat and bacon again. Season with salt and pepper.

I layered it delicately, even though I do not expect it to look beautiful once it’s all casseroled together. But it sure makes the TikTok look uglybeautiful.

3) Cover with cold water or consommé.

I chose a 50/50 mixture. Because every casserole dish is different, the amount of water will change. Still, as I poured, I was skeptical of the immense amount of water it took to “cover” it.

4) Make a topping of onions and potatoes. Dot with butter.

A topping I took to mean “top it with the onions and butter.” But maybe I should have shredded it? Not like it’s going to brown directly under flame anyway in this preparation, but it could create a crumbly little topping.

5) Cover tightly with a lid or aluminum foil and bake 1.5 hours in a moderate (350-degree) oven.

Resurrection Pie

Voila! If you want to actually watch me attempt to eat it, go to the CwC Instagram or TikTok. If you enjoy the smell of liver, you’re going to enjoy your kitchen that much more for 48 hours. First things first — this recipe calls for entirely too much water. I actually ended up draining 90% of it off. Where was it all supposed to go?? That much water, then seal it in without any grains to absorb that water? It was a liver pie swimming in a pool of consommé. I removed a slice from the sopping wet whole and that’s what you see pictured here. Is it pie? No. No it is not. Did it come back from the dead? Sure!

 

Verdict:

Millard Fillmore's Resurrection Liver Pie recipe

Medieval is the first word that comes to mind. It’s fine apocalypse food if you’ve got nothing left and you haven’t moved on to boiled shoe leather. But I would not be choosing this meal without some form of duress.

Representative Robert Harrison's "Cinnamon Apple Salad"

Representative Robert Harrison's "Cinnamon Apple Salad"

President Franklin Delano Roosevelt's "Aspic of Chicken"

President Franklin Delano Roosevelt's "Aspic of Chicken"