"South Alabama Peanut Clusters" by Senator Jeff Sessions

Microwave cooking — there are entire shows dedicated to the concept that I highly recommend. What else do I highly recommend? This microwave-only southern classic from a former Attorney General of the United States — Senator Jeff Sessions’s South Alabama Peanut Clusters.

Chef Jeff Sessions

Republican Senator and Attorney General from Alabama

Notable:

thinking marijuana is evil; having just the funniest little accent

Quotable:

“I am not a racist, I am not insensitive to blacks.”

As always, I followed the recipe word for word, no alterations:

INGREDIENTS

2 cups chocolate almond bark

1 cup smooth peanut butter

3 cups miniature marshmallows

3 cups Rice Krispies

2 cups dry roasted peanuts

INSTRUCTIONS

1) Place almond bark in a 3-quart microwaveable dish. Heat on full power 3-5 minutes or until melted. Stir often.

Love it when you have to “stir often” something that’s in an enclosed rotating machine.

2) Blend in peanut butter.

Nothing looks better than dropping some brown into some chocolate! Classic combination.

3) Put dry ingredients in a bowl and pour hot mixture over them. Blend well.

Interestingly, the heat of the chocolate didn’t melt the marshmallows — they got a bit sticky, but maintained their shape and form. Perhaps that cool peanut butter kept the heat at bay, or perhaps Chef Jeff didn’t like the feel of Rice Krispie treats and wanted to go a different textural direction.

4) Drop by teaspoonful onto wax paper.

A teaspoon is very small, so while these may look gigantic in the photos, Sessions’s nut clusters are actually about the size of a large blackberry.

There you have ‘em! Ready for snacking. And yes, by the teaspoonful, this recipe made 106 clusters (really). The flavor? Peanuts! With the peanut butter and the dry roasted peanuts, what did you expect? The chocolate, krispies and marshmallows fade to the background — really just there for texture — and it’s peanuts all the way. They may not stay together very well, but that’s purposeful, of course. When you pluck this quarter-sized treat out of your fridge, it’ll melt in your hand, not in your mouth. A salty, messy treat that you won’t be able to stop eating. Invite a friend over — 53 for each of you!

Verdict:

Peanut butter. Marshmallows. Chocolate. Can’t really go wrong. That said, they’re not….right. The balance is off. Like an inside-out Reese’s cup without enough sugar. And my god they’re small — what am I going to do with the 104 leftovers I did not eat?