More than 34 million Americans suffer the ravages of diabetes. That’s nearly 11% of the entire country. And what medicines are available to them? Insulin therapy? Walking around more?

How about…dinner?

Yes, our spotlight dish, which hails from the soon-to-be-famous 1989 South Dakota Centennial Cookbook, is one for the blood sugar babies: State Senator Henry Poppen’s Diabetic Cucumber Salad.

Henry Poppen 2.jpg — Chef Henry Poppen

Republican State Senator from South Dakota

As always, I followed the recipe word for word from the South Dakota politician who only has one photo of himself on the internet, no alterations:

INGREDIENTS

2 packages sugar-free lemon Jello

1 cup boiling water

1 large cucumber, diced

1/4 cup onion, finely chopped

1 tbsp lemon juice

1 cup Kraft “Lite” Miracle Whip

1 cup cottage cheese

INSTRUCTIONS

1) Mix jello and water in a bowl. Mix well and let set until syrupy (sets quickly).

When you tilt the bowl, you should see the increasingly gelatinous mixture start to stick to the sides a bit as it recedes back into its golden-yellow pool. That’s when it’s syrupy enough. Maybe 10-12 minutes. I used this time to dice some cucumber, chop the onion, and dip a finger into the Lite Miracle Whip and see how it tasted solo.

2) Add remaining ingredients, mix well.

Already, the textural landscape for this dish is fascinating. Seeing the curds of cottage cheese fall into the placid lake of jello; the chunk of the cucumber mixing with the fat-filled mounds of Lite Miracle Whip. If you’re the type of chef whose mouth waters when you’re cooking, this is when it would happen.

3) Refrigerate.

That’s the beauty of these vintage Jello-mold entrees and appe-teasers — its only directions are basically to “mix” and “mix” and “cool.” Who says you need a complicated recipe like this in order to create something equally delicious?

And there you have it — Diabetic Cucumber Salad!

The first thing that hits you about this dish is definitely the “mouthfeel,” which is a fancy, complicated term we chefs use to mean “how it feels in your mouth.” This salad is a salad in the 1950s sense, when Jello + other foods was all the rage. Therefore, the texture goes back and forth between lovely smooth bits of jello and bracingly crunchy raw onion and cucumber. Every bite includes a lump of cottage cheese, too, which swims in your mouth.

I could spend all day talking about the once-in-a-lifetime texture, but the flavor, too, is not to be missed. I almost forgot this was zero-sugar! It sure tastes sweet, yet also tangy like a funny sandwich.